Build a Niche Store Profits Gone? “Account Suspended”
The Advice
Watch your PPC every day - like a hawk. And pay your hosting bills, too.
Why?
Build a Niche Store is one of my favorite pieces of software that I unfortunately have no time to ever play with. It lets you build Ebay affiliate stores and automatically populate them with products. BANS has a great affiliate program - which leads to much Online Marketing Hellaciousness and Insanity. Get this:
A Google AdWords ad (page 1, bottom): it’s decent, and they’ve got a nice domain. But click on it and you get: “This Account Has Been Suspended: Please contact the billing/support department as soon as possible.”
Huh? Well, this marketer just dropped a chunk of AdWords change down the hole. Their URL is: http://iota.sitelutions.com/suspended.page/?hop=sk030&gclid=ckwepllhjzicfqgmawodefij-g
Sitelutions is, apparently, some kind of funky web host. Wonder how long this has been going on? Wonder how much $$$ this marketer has lost because of this?
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March 18, 2008: See retraction to this blog post.
Satellite TV for PC Niche is Dead, Dead, Dead
Advice
The so-called “satellite tv to pc” niche is dead - stay away from it.
Why?
Satellite tv to pc is a strange niche. It’s a piece of software sold through Clickbank, PayDotCom, to name a few. Install the software on your PC, and within a few minutes you’ll be viewing TV on your computer.
Well, not exactly. It’s not “satellite.” It’s not “TV.” And in fact, many of these program are riddled with adware. But the real kicker is that these program just provide a common interface for…streaming TV already available for free on the internet. About the only good thing is that interface, but it tends to crash your computer. Google AdWords won’t run ads for this software. See below…some advertisers get in under the wire. But within a few hours or a day or t
wo, they will be blocked.
All those red checkmarks are “satellite TV for PC” advertisers, like I mention above. The blue checkmark is for arbitrage from Local.com. In the meanwhile, why not get completely free, no-hassle online TV.
Every day while working, I’ll catch a show from: Hulu, Fancast, or Fox Classics/AOL Video. They’re always good for a 30 Rock, Reno 911, The Office - a few of my faves.
Wildfire News Events Create Instant Domains
Advice
Grab the domain while the news event is hot - then do something with it.
Why?
In the wake of the Elliot Spitzer prostitution scandal, it’s interesting to see how online marketers react. Whenever a significant news event happens, domainers or just plain ordinary marketers snatch up domains within seconds of the event being announced.
But what do they do with the domains? That’s the real question.
Just look at how volatile these events are. Google Trends shows a rapid spike in searches for “client 9″ and then it drops away, only to rise again.
The losers are http://www.clientnine.com/, which is still parked and rotting away - a full 24 hours + after the event. Someone already snatched http://client9.com/ and stuck comments and Google AdSense on it.
Come to think of it - maybe the crummy parked domain is better. Higher CTR when visitors see it has nothing to do with the news event.
Online Marketing Scam: “Can I Have Your Bank Account Number?”
Advice
Online scams are only short-term. And they make us all look bad, so don’t do it.
Why?
Wow… And I mean wow. This straddles the line between Sneaky-Stuff and Scam - though I would guess it’s more Scam.
Search Google for “modeling jobs” and you find content offers from an outfit called 123FindJobs.com. First page: fill in the desired job name and job location.
That opens a box of snakes. You pass through 7 screens, asking highly detailed personal questions, and essentially signing you up for offers like:
- Payday loan
- Debt consolidation offer
- Colorado Technical University Online
- DeVry Institute
- Poetry.com Poetry Contest
- Art Institute of Pittsburgh
Some offers are already checkmarked “Yes,” no doubt for your convenience.
The payday loan screen even asks for…get this…your Social Security number and bank account number. Wow. This is incredible.
After you finally get through the obstacles. the final page just spits out scraped “job postings” from Indeed.com.
What a scam. What they’re doing, of course, is Force-Generating leads probably from Azoogle. But it’s the bank account stuff that really makes my hair stand on end. Though some readers may know that Monster.com does sneaky-sneaky stuff like this, but to a lesser degree. And we all fall down in awe of Monster’s monstrous coolness, don’t we? Makes you think, huh?
Nonsense AdWords Copy - Corporate Meatheaddery at its Finest
Advice
Don’t type in PPC placeholder text and never get back to the ad. And watch your PPC management company!
Why?
On one of my sites, this Google AdWords Content ad showed up one day. What on earth is going on here?
I surmise Business Week’s PPC person or company typed in a bunch of nonsense “lorem ipsum” text by randomly hitting keys on the keyboard. Placeholders to save an ad? Either that or they run some kind of script that went haywire?
I suspect it was a manual error. The semi-colon and the “p” are close together on the keyboard, leading me to believe it’s random.
Not certain if the ad would really lead to BusinessWeek, I commited the ultimate AdSense Sin and clicked on my own ad. Sure enough, it did lead to BusinessWeek, and didn’t appear to go through any affiliate channels.
Google’s Wet Dream - PPC Poetry
Advice
For PPC, give us an answer to our question on the landing page - within 5 seconds of the click.
Why?
Google content ads appear alongside your Gmail when you have an open message. God only knows what email I had open that displayed this ad for Flowers of Bad.
Hmm. ”False Translation.” Sounds interesting. On the Flowers of Bad landing page, I find a clean landing page, tons of white space. Looks promising.
Problem is that I cannot pick up on the answer fast. The description of “false translation” is far too long - 83 words. And worst of all - it breaks the writer’s primary rule: show, don’t tell. I need the answer fast. PPC is a quick process of Question–> Click–> Answer.
Far be it for me to criticize a poet who advertises on Google. I even diligently typed out his URL rather than waste-clicking it. And this is AdWords’ wet dream, of course, right? They envision a world of mountain bike shops, poets, artists, coffee roasters, non-profits, and other non-affiliate-types advertising on AdWords. Fine. But just a couple tweaks should bring this landing page up to snuff.
Google’s Squeeze Pages and Nepotism
Advice
Hey Google: send ads to relevent landing pages. Try your Optimize Ads on Your Blog page. That’s got to be better. And Google, if you need help - I suggest you read something called the AdWords Help Center.
Why?
Google AdWords hates ads that lead to squeeze pages, right? Well, search for “make money blogging.”
Top position numero uno, is this:
So there you have it - pure nepotism. Big Uncle AdWords promoting its affiliated division, AdSense, to the top spot. But we all understand this; we have seen this before a million times. This is no surprise.
But what really gets me is that it leads to a total crap landing page. The landing page is this:
It’s the Google AdSense Join Here page, which is nothing more than a badly designed pre-2007 era affiliate landing page.
In May 2007, thousands of AdWords advertisers got slapped, and one reason given by the customer service reps was the feverish Click Here / Buy Here exhortations to visitors.
And the funny thing is that it doesn’t even automatically kick through to my AdSense account page - which always happens when I come across the page in other situations.
John Chow’s Chow - Bloggers Who Stray
Advice
Newbie bloggers should hit the target topic 100% of the time.
Why?
It’s a strange phenonemon I call “John Chow’s Chow,” referring to bloggers who occasionally stray from the topic at hand.
You frequent a blog because it offers advice on site design, let’s say, but every so often it discusses dogs, weather, food, or gardening. John Chow’s favorite topic of “straying” is food - for instance, the BBQ at Affiliate Summit - complete with highly-lit, glistening photos worthy of a pornographic shoot.
Oh hell, readers - let’s not get our panties in a wad. It should be obvious I mention John only because his name makes a great pun. Everyone does it. Shoemoney has so many outside interests, I don’t even know where to start (UFC is one of his favorites).
But here is the fact you cannot refute. I, and others, find ourselves poring over these “stray” topics with superstition. As if these outside topics had an almost mystical quality. As if…the kind of food John Chow eats somehow contributes to his success.
Laugh you might - but just check the Comments section for successful bloggers who stray. I guarantee that within a couple of days you’ll find over 50 comments and climbing.
So noobs…
We don’t want to hear about your dog or your restored Econoline van. Miss the mark once and we forgive you. Miss the mark twice and we De-Favorite you.
As for the Big Dog bloggers, well it’s a little thing called droit de seigneur. They have won that right, and we will gaze upon them in admiration.
AdSense Arbitrage: In Praise of Former Arbitrageurs
Advice
WiseGeek make even greater efforts at transforming into a real website.
Why?
It wasn’t the other day when until I wanted to know the temperature of space that I ran across our old arbitrage buddies, WiseGeek. “Back in the day” of fast and frenzied AdSense arbitrage, WiseGeek reigned as the best of the arbitrageurs pushing traffic from PPC.
Arbitrage was a brief period when it was possible to buy cheap clicks on AdWords, send them to AdSense-filled pages with higher payouts, and pocketing the difference.
You knew arbitrage was the 7BestSites and 5TopReviews-type thing that plagued your searches. But WiseGeek always stood higher because they:
–Displayed staff first names (no last names) and photos.
–Several staff members were attractive, not the the typical knuckle-headed SEM apes.
–All appeared to be fancy-schmantzy U.C. Berkeley graduates.
–Covered weird topics like “what is sandblasting” - in addition to the usual Viagra-Diet-Sex outlay of topics.
WiseGeek is still around and thriving. Only difference now - when’s the last time you saw Wise Geek advertise with PPC? Notice, though, that the real bottom-feeders like 7 Best Sites are no longer around.
Sure, WiseGeek, you have cleaned up your act a little - now you have a Comment section. But notice how you still have the classic “AdSense corner” (in the so-called “golden triangle” of the upper left)? And the dark gray background, scientifically designed to discourage visitors from reading the article and encouraging AdSense clicks? Since WiseGeek is out of the PPC game now, why now just style as a legit, feature-rich site?
- Cleaner interface, more features.
- Drop that AdSense block - it’s a Scarlet Letter shouting “Arbitrage!”
- For God’s sake - no more iStock photos.
- Expand topics, dig in. Is the Peet’s Coffee your staff drinking causing office-wide ADD?
- Kill the interstitial ads. Put in real links instead.
Worst PPC in Universe Called to Judgement
Advice
Use third tier and lower PPCs only to expand your PPC reach - not as an alternative to reputable PPCs. Or better - don’t use them.
Why?
You can waste money either of two ways. Drop your cash in a big pile, douse it with lighter fluid, and drop a lighted match on it. Or you can use MIVA.
MIVA is a zero tier PPC, attracting a lot of advertisers with the promise of one-cent clicks. True, you can get one or two cent clicks from MIVA. But there’s some bad mojo going on at MIVA.
Anecdote: One time, I loaded up a MIVA account with $XX and ran PPC ads to a landing page. Now, I knew the landing page had some power to pull in a certain CTR from AdWords and Yahoo! But hey - how about those one cent clicks from MIVA?
“If I can keep that insane CTR,” I thought, “but lower my CPC - let’s go!”
It took about one week for me to burn through my whole “bank” with only one (count it, yes) one click. In AdWords, I could expect something like 100 clicks.
Now MIVA is the target of a class action lawsuit by some advertisers who spent in excess of seven figures, lost seven figures, and decided not to take it laying down. Easily fill out your MIVA claim form - online, thank goodness.
Some online marketers, frustrated with the dog-and-pony show known as Google AdWords, defect to the no-name PPCs. First, master the first tiers, then work down to lower tiers only when you need to increase traffic.
And even then…well, good luck and may God be with you.
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